Blue Notes from a Red Zone

Thank you

The response to my previous post was overwhelming, and far kinder than I deserved. I was experiencing a lapse there, giving into self-pity when resolve and reason were the better answers.

My dip into despair was not just the result of a few hateful remarks on the radio, or some nasty e-mails sent to my office. It's been a cumulative sapping of energy, as even many of my colleagues have had difficulty separating the causes I work for from the person I am. I have been wondering for some time whether or not my passions for social justice were hindering rather than helping the changes I espouse. Whether, in fact, I was becoming a distraction from the work of finding shelter for the homeless and hope for victims of crimes against women.

Contrary to popular opinion, I am not someone filled with certainty about every aspect of life. I have no brilliant solutions as to how to get us out of Iraq, or how to solve the issues of the Mideast, or how to respect fundamentalist religions of all stripes (Christian, Jewish, Muslin, Hindu for all I know) without letting their practitioners encroach on the rights of others. Members of these faiths absolutely are convinced that they must proselytize or go to hell. How do you respect their right to practice their religion without denying others the right to be left alone in theirs? You'll find no answers to these or many other questions from my corner. I can't even make definitive decisions about the clutter in my home and work offices.

However, on those issues about which I am certain, I am a bulldozer. I cannot see how anyone of good faith can disagree about those truths which I hold to be self-evident. Briefly, these are:

1) Women and men of all races, religions and ethnic origins are to be held in respect, and valued according to their individual merits and contributions.

2) The measures of success are not necessarily those of the dominant culture. For instance, a stereotypic male culture prizes aggressiveness, disdain for the weak, and stoicism. Both women and men can make excellent contributions to business and society by living up to the best within themselves, which may well encompass compassion, personal connections, and a willingness to listen. Women do not need to "outmasculine" men in order to prove themselves.

3) We are all caretakers of each other. Listening to women denigrate other women, stating that women are bitchy, catty, vicious and shallow is my idea of total torture. Hearing men dismiss the poor as worthless without taking a second to reflect on why those people may be poor and what circumstances may have pushed them into it is infuriating. We cannot dismiss whole classes of humanity as being without merit just because we have been fortunate in our own lives.

4) Parenthood, for those who choose it, really can be our own personal link to heaven. For the vast majority of us, our children are the greatest blessing we will ever know. My children have brought me joy without measure. They owe me nothing (though they give me everything). I owe them a society that is as fair and just as I can help shape it.

So where does this leave me in terms of the push to create a homeless shelter? I have given a lot of consideration as to whether or not I was just as guilty of confusing myself with my messages as others have been. So, to clarify it for myself and others, I have asked fellow toilers in the vineyard to become more public in their support for the homeless and for victims of crime. I have even been kind enough to draft suggestions of letters to the editor, to be submitted by others and which will appear soon. I will be taking the advice of many of you who have suggested specific persons and organizations who can be fantastic agents for change.

But, I am who I am. While I have done less in terms of actual caretaking of the homeless and women in need than almost anyone I know in recent years, I have been a huge catalyst for keeping these issues in the public eye. I listen very well, and can articulate on behalf of those whose ability to speak and write for themselves is limited. I can make myself heard in their names. Perhaps stirring up a hornet's nest is the most valuable contribution I can make. So for now, keep watching out for wasps.

posted by Lenore Wilson @ 11:49 PM