Love, Actually
The Christmas season is in full swing at our house. Having a two year old and a tree in the same room is festivity enough, and yet there is so much more. The pressures that pull us apart during the year - work deadlines, business trips, term papers and finals and crises of all sorts - begin to pale in importance. We listen instead to those instincts that pull us together, friends and family alike. This weekend, for instance, I had reports I absolutely had to turn in, and e-mails I had to answer, all firmly shoved to the back of my awareness. I felt not the slightest pang of remorse or guilt. After all, I had a son's Christmas present to buy, and friends were coming for dinner, and there was an incredible sale at a store just 40 miles away where I could find perfect gifts for my daughters. And even though preparing a monthly report so that we can invoice a funder is important, a trip to visit my parents is even more so.We talk about Valentine's Day as being the season of love, but often that seems rather artificial, and it certainly does not encompass all the varieties of the love that fills our lives. Christmas is the time our hearts truly soften, and we allow ourselves to experience the emotions we give lip service to all year round. There are many condemnations of the commercialization of Christmas, but the act of buying and making gifts is profoundly positive. Stopping to think what a person would like for Christmas focuses our attention on who that person actually is: who they are, what they do, what they have, what they like and dislike. And the more we think about the uniqueness of each friend and family member, the more real they become, and the more we actually like them.
For many of us, this feeling of specific affection expands to the point of general good will toward man, and we find ourselves donating to charities that we don't even notice during the year. We may cover and say we need the end-of-the-year tax deductions, but we could find all kinds of tax shelters that were more efficient in maintaining assets and protecting against loss. The bottom line is that we have taken the time to see hunger and want, and we do what we can to alleviate the hopelessness of poverty for just a little while.
Love in all its aspects comes through on the chill winds, and warms us in unexpected ways. The affection my children share with each other moves me beyond measure. So does watching my parents with their great-grandchild, and my daughter with her son. I catch my husband's eye, and we marvel at this intricate network of compassionate, gentle and intelligent people that we have anchored. I am grateful for all the friendships and new relationships we have each brought to our combined life, and for the richness and variety that sustains us. We now have a Lebanese brother-in-law, a Russian prospective son-in-law, and our grandchild is one-quarter Korean. Most exotic of all, we have a Southern self-proclaimed redneck joining the family, who has confounded us with his approach to gender equality, sharing of household responsibilities, and dedication to maintaining a just and fair relationship. There is room for everyone at the Christmas dinner.
Should Jesus return to our society, there must surely be countless aspects of our society that he would find appalling. Pre-emptive wars and military swagger can hardly impress the Prince of Peace, and the accretion of obscene wealth among the few in the face of national and global poverty does not reflect the message given at the Sermon on the Mount. But I don't think he would be disturbed by the tinsel and glitter and abundance of bright-colored lights, or even the holiday shopping hours. He most of all would see beyond the surface, and into the heart.
It's love, actually.

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