Blue Notes from a Red Zone

Challenges

Last night a woman I knew in passing 15-20 years ago called looking for help. We haven't spoken since her daughters were in my Girl Scout troops many years ago, but she has kept up with my career through my newspaper op-ed pieces (like the one about sexual assault printed below) and various appearances on TV, radio and in the news.

She talked about heart-breaking experiences that she had endured, and although I have heard variations of her story often, it still moved me to tears. However, it was her reason for seeking me out that shook me the most.

"Ever since I met you," she said, "I have tried to model my life after yours. You never accept the fact that there is anything you can't do. If a thing needs to be done, you just clear out the barriers and the obstacles, and you make it happen."

As someone who, like most of us, feels stymied all the time by things I cannot control, I found this a breath-taking analysis of my character. But I suppose at some level it is true. I do tackle a lot of windmills, and occassionally I come out victorious.

At the moment, I am working toward two major goals: the creation of a rape examination clinc off-site from the hospitals; and the establishment of an emergency homeless shelter and center where homeless persons can find the resources they need to forge a better life. Both of these seemed very far-fetched when I embarked on these crusades, but the clinic is now looking like a distinct possibility, and may start up as early as January, 2007.

The homeless shelter continues to look like a pipe dream. I'm trying to raise funds for a shelter that maybe 10 people in the county (other than the homeless themselves) are in favor of even having, and the rest of the citizens are actively working against. The odds are not looking good. However, nothing will happen if everyone gives up, so I keep holding fund-raisers, and going on TV, and writing newspaper columns, talking on the radio, applying for grants. The amount of money raised to date is pitiful, but it is growing, and maybe it will turn out to be the seed for a fabulous plant. I can only hope.

In the end, hope is all any of us has to go on, from the mother who called me, to the homeless person seeking to stay dry during a storm. It gets us up in the morning thinking: maybe today will be a little easier, maybe today I will be loved, maybe today a promise will unfold. It takes us through the years: if I keep working, my children will have a secure future, my parents will be cared for, my dreams will be realized. We know in our hearts that few of our hopes will ever reach full fruition, but some of them will. And that's enough.

Years ago, my husband gave one of our daughters the horse that had been the center of every thought and prayer for years. I drove her over to the stables, and right before we turned into the drive I said, "sweetheart, sadly, part of growing up is accepting that most of our dreams will never come true. But it's equally important to realize that sometimes, some magical times, they do." And as she sat stunned, seeing her father come into view holding the reins of a palomino quarterhorse, I whispered, "happy birthday, love. Live in hope."

Happy dreams, to all of us.

posted by Lenore Wilson @ 9:44 PM